"Bang, I want to be your wife,"

pintaku slow.But man, where Cintaku berth this year, I did not hear. He terjerat day-to-day busy. Go early, and returned after nightfall when. Not infrequently early days the new house, heard the door creaking. I know, because almost every night I am waiting. Loyalty, which bear a bag under the eyes disappear. "Why do your eyes, Nia? The day is not the only shining. Do not unduly begadang often. " Mama, as well as the other, never understand alasanku guard every night. No one is to understand what kutunggu. Unless Bandi, where Cintaku lean. He never even offensive problems that the more deep-set eyes. Perhaps because men like him understand the weary toil of the love. Faithfulness of the physical vision. Unlike the other pair-pair, in most people thought, we are different. Bandi menafkahi busy families, making the men must work extra hard. Nevertheless, our regular meeting. Although only briefly once. Outside of work time as a journalist, the man himself menyempatkan short story writing, poetry, reviews, opinions, anything, for many media. Computer, do not have it. That's why Bandi diligent berlama-old in the office. And as the couple who is faithful, I must understand. Sosoknya a hard worker, who is increasingly attracted membuatku. The more in love. Other? "Abang can type in the house. Abang want at any time. Regardless hesitate. " Sunday afternoon, the brackets with the new clothes sewn Mama finished for the night, we talk briefly on the terrace house. Tawaranku but that is not entirely sincere, just because you want to with him more often, ditolaknya fine. "Do not, Nia. Brother's home office is the night. Uncomfortable with your parents. " Sentence specifically indicates independence, and not the mental ruler mumpung. Not without reason I menawarinya type, considering we have more than six computers at home. Paviliun house is long since I made the cafe and computer rental. Although originally orangtuaku not agree because we do not think lack of money, yet the rental kukelola and running the better. Cash flow, customer satisfied. On the other hand, I never get tired waiting Bandi home. Does not matter if he went home early, as occasionally happens, or even in the morning. Sosoknya a sound with a black backpack in the back, never terlewat from the eyes. ***** "I want to be your wife, Bang." Bisikku again. Second year had passed, and the time of the heart cause to fall on hard figures called Bandi. Man-built, brown skin with a good heart and attention. "Morning-morning like this is open?" I nod. Hide the thundering heartbeat, breath and ran tersengal because of the room, only to pursue bayangnya. "Bang Bandi also sepagi this road already? Usually seven days a quarter, right? " Man is laughing. Teeth of small neat rows. Giving the membuatku love, again and again. Membuatku feeling that never feels like enough to take the course. Yesterday learn cooking, and make cakes, and sewing, ahh what else? Let, which is important I can make Bandi. Front men in worship is still smiling. New kusadari then something membuatku embarrassed. Searched what I said? Seven quarter? Ah, the observation that sedetil that, shame! pikirku late. Bandi close perasaanku but that is not known with a wide smile, and a book in his hand. "You, Nia. Not to get too long. Excellent on its content .... " And men before running in a hurry, for as soon as he is sure that the chase time. With enthusiasm, his hands sway, given cursory descriptions of the content disodorkannya. Face of the spirit. I menatapnya, with the feeling of fall. Impressed with the sosoknya intelligent, and feel lucky because I am given the opportunity mencintainya. Day-to-day our simple but beautiful. He membawakanku many books, which kubalas with setoples pastry buatanku own. So beautiful up to three years away. Then terlewat fourth year. During that, I never get tired out and express how I want to become his wife. Bandi never said keinginanku. I calm myself with a variety of positive thoughts. Perhaps rushing, it may not yet feel ready, ucapku entertaining heart, each time feeling doubt arise. But patience will hold may be only mine. For Mama and the like have no other work, except memburuku with that sentence. "Menikahlah, Nia. Moreover, that you wait? " Bandi! There is no other. And the other can not! The following year, Papa mendesakku participate. "Son Om Hasnan good, Nia. His life was well established. He termuda director, the company Hasnan Om. " I am not the least interested. A rich man because of their parents property stream, which can win my heart? pikiranku involved in Bandi. Sosoknya, hard work, sweat the sweat patch is still clearly visible in dahinya, across every window kamarku. Om Hasnan children may be good, but he does not like Bandi. And the other candidates disodorkan. But each time, the trained shake my head and pulled thing bears desperate breath of Papa. Mama mendekatiku similar way. Offer prospective candidates for the dirasanya worth, and dignity of the parents. But always only kutemukan minus the value on them. Gilang, never serious. Herry adventurir too, make a Nia devotee of the house. Meanwhile, Agus too mathematical. Cuma Bandi;, intelligent and have the attitude merakyat, grab all that value plus, even in kesederhanaannya. Cuma Bandi, who did not hesitate membuatku humble self with many times the harapanku. Never bored expressions imply that, "I want to be your wife," But as bygones, kalimatku only brought wind, and evaporate without the former. Bandi, such as not providing a place for a wedding. ***** "Love," One day I heard that sentence from the lips. Clearly, without a doubt. "Love should be mutual understanding, with just a stare. Nia is not so? Love, should never need to make two lovers have to beg each other. Love .... " He sigh. Nanar views. I can feel the grief his heart that day. Cintaku but not say anything more. He went after the first menyodorkan a book membuatku weeping many days. Indeed, there has never been a love story kubaca and menorehkan so much grief, after Romeo and Juliet. "Good one, Bang. Nia dibuatnya to cry. " Bandi only slight smile. A strong hand to receive the books kukembalikan. God, I so want to lean in rengkuhannya. But the hands that are always polite, never menjamahku. "Love is respect, Nia. Love do not take advantage of each other. " I nod. As usual by terbius words Bandi. Akuratnya dazzled by the words and behavior of men. Bandi not touched, is not no love. Precisely because he was in love. Not like he said, love is not brassy? Love respect? "Bang, I want to be your wife," began to mingle bisikanku sob. Ahh, how inginnya. Bandi why I can not understand? The two people who mutually menyinta should understand each other, only with the look? And repeatedly, the excitement came sad. "Kak Nia, Ita pardon." I nod. Though afterwards I need to spend a day-to shed in the silent cry in bantalku. Riza ago, Nina, and the last .... "Kak, Linda apologize." Turn sister bungsuku request. I nod. Withhold the tears overwhelm menggayut eyes. I should be happy, brother-adikku complete their love story earlier. Marriage brother bungsuku celebrated large-scale by both our parents. As if Mama and Papa have been tired, and decided not even need to save a little savings for their first-born child. But years passed as soon as the night arrived. I did not realize when Mama and Papa start stop memintaku married. Kutahu that no more names that they sodorkan me. Initially it was felt membuatku free, yes free ... wait Bandi. New and kusadari heart of hempas, strange by something that never changed. Bandi not changed the least. Still like it. Seven quarter hours to go, and go home when the night drowned. Sosoknya still the same, patient, strong and attention. I never changed. Menemaninya still faithfully. Neat dress up in the morning to remove it to the office. Night, awaiting the return man though only through sunblind kamarku. Bandi not know is that both eyes can only terlelap ensure sosoknya after entering the house of the mighty? But the lack of progress in our relationship does not stop membuatku request. As well as that night. "Bang, I want to be your wife," I said with a slow drip of water. Bandi But although still friendly and good-hearted, as the already-have also not respond. In fact kesabaranku, and devote kesetiaanku .... And the pastry recipe that always changes each week? "Making this cake especially sepagi, Nia?" I do not answer the question Mama. Already at seven through ten. Five more minutes Bandi akan through, and I can not too late. Feet rushing to the door front. In my hand, setoples chocolate cake bertabur raisins, looks sweet and seduce. Be grateful, in simplicity. In the absence. Grateful with what we have. Bandi often repeat the re-sentence them. May mean that I may never again repeated the sentence, the keinginanku to become his wife. I nod. Bandi wave on the morning of travel with many bags in hand. Next is the days that are not kumengerti. For Bandi never appeared again. He disappeared quickly and when kusadari that night until dawn azan resonates, I do not see the beloved person to enter the house. Feelings of panic and immediately engulf myself. O Allah, something should befall the men terkasih. But, except me, it seems that no other people who feel lost. Not even my father and mother, and sister adiknya a six-man. I started crying. For a few days do not even have a mouthful of rice can also kutelan. When sepekan through Bandi and not also back, I drown myself in the room. Lock it and not let anyone touch kesedihanku. Bandi, something definitely going on to him! batinku may not dibohongi. Family Bandi surely entertaining only when the man is getting big salaries with pekerjaaan abroad. Bandi may not not preach to me that sepenting information. Am I not love, as he Cintaku? Every day, kuhabiskan time in the room with the prison, while the eyes continue to be glued, peek from behind the curtain, look Bandi shadow that can come at any time, in the circumstances may be injured. Oh God! Both eyes feel tired because of too much crying and awake. I no longer remember eating, bathing, even not at all concerned with the rental of the kurintis. Bandi is more important than all that! Mama and Papa and brother-adikku certainly looks sad. But they do not understand at all what kurasa. Wave of pain, feeling empty, as if almost all nyawaku tercerabut, membuatku not have the desire to do anything. Syukurnya, through three-month period in the sorrow, hope setitik appear. Bandi not do anything. Perasaanku says he is still alive, and could return at any time. Maybe soon. Then my body dirasuki new energy. Kuputuskan out the day room. The sun during this kumusuhi, eyes squint just right. But excitement explode-ledak, overcome all reluctance. Quickly, such as do not want to lose time, I take the clothes of the most well kupunya, and ran to the bathroom. Wipe hard body with a hard-spon soap, to clean and fragrant aroma filled soap. After the shirt, kusemprotkan perfume, and be as beautiful as possible. Those who do not understand the bedakku too thick. I just pout. They do not understand that her special kunanti. Bandi but that day has not come home. Never mind. Important is that I am always ready, if he occasionally came. Bajuku must be neat, my body should be perfumed, rambutku must always dikeramas each day. Powder, a little lipstick kucoretkan dibibirku the last often broken in pieces. I do not want to have a terlewat. All must be perfect, when Bandi return later. Man is already gone a long time, he surely nostalgic to me. We laugh at the joke, in the simple but beautiful relationship that is involved. He is also certain nostalgic with cake-kueku. Lord, how long have I no longer make pastry and put in toples, to Bandi? But since that day, has kutekadkan, so that no day passed without pastry new kubikin. The moment the new year arrived, and may Bandi akan pulang? When the new year, and I menunggui Bandi fence in front of our house to the cold, Mama wrap the body with a blanket shivering. But I am still waiting. Bandi akan may return when the holiday season. Perhaps fasting month next year. Hmm, do not! I smiled. Bandi akan lebaran return next year, definitely! Pikiran langkahku to bring it in space. Not a room to hope as the second person tuaku. Pikiranku solid work by many menungguku akan Bandi home until later. Make pastry prefer the beloved man. Also new shirt. My hands busy while you beat the dough wheat flour mixed with sugar, cheese, and somehow all the more, pikiranku roam. Commemorating Bandi. How rindunya. Tomorrow and next day again, the same rush menungguku. Pastry and sewing clothes. Every day. I want to go home when Bandi. I want to tidy, to beautiful. Least there is no doubt akan Bandi with loyalty. Although there have been married newspaper Bandi, Bandi or already be overseas and do not want to go back, I never believed. One day Bandi akan home and meet permintaanku to become his wife. As always during this kubisikkan in my heart towards the bed. "Bang, I want to be your wife." And I know, Bandi fully understand perasaanku. Permintaanku. For the love should be mutual understanding, with just looked. (Not so Nia?) Love, should never need to make two lovers beg each other. ... Love.